A LETTER TO MY SWEET AMIRA.

 

Amira my sweetheart, you lost a dear friend, Ansor, at such a young age. Such a sudden passing of someone so special, is painful. You saw him living and beaming with energy, making you and your friends smile and happy at one moment, at another moment, there he was lying motionless as you paid him your last visit. As I looked at you and your friends weeping in sadness, I prayed to Allah not to take you away from me at such a young age. 

You were heartbroken and sad. You said,

"Arwah was more than just a friend. he's more like a brother to me. Ya Allah kau tempatkan lah dia di tempat org beriman ya Allah. Ampunkan lah segala dosa arwah. arwah istimewa yang teramat. tak kan ada siapa boleh gantikan tempat arwah. Anshor, kami syang hang smpai bila2 tak kira hang ada dgn kami atau tk :'(. Langit mendung ja. semua syg anshor, even langit pun syg anshor :')"

I can feel your sadness. 

But really, you only 'lost' Ansor in form, not in spirit. His spirit lives within you, in all your friends who know him. When you and your friends experience love, joy, happiness, peace or something beyond forms, beyond words, beyond explanation, beyond thinking, beyond any kind of scheming or reasons and justification, beyond 'me' or 'I' or 'we'....just joy, happiness, peace, love, those pure energy that we always try to translate into words (or mere shadows).....Ansor is there, with you, with us. That's our HOME.

His passing is meant to awaken us (you, your friends, Abah, Mama, Nina and Addela) to experience love beyond the veils of form (our physical life, that is actually 'borrowed illusion' meant to test us). If we look at life as mere 'forms' (to be owned as 'mine'), we will feel miserable and full of resent if we lost someone or something. Such 'life' is so transient, temporal where everything passes even those that you want to claim as yours (like 'my friend'). So, as we engage with and enjoy our 'borrowed' life of forms, we must stay rooted in the formless (spirit). We are spiritual beings who are experiencing (some say 'dreaming) the life of forms (Abah refers to it as 'mimpi benda'). Everything are mere shadows of the spirit within all of us. 

Ansor has awakened or returned HOME in its truest sense. We are still here, experiencing our 'mimpi benda' through our five senses.

So Amira my sweetheart, lets engage with our life in the spirit of love, joy, peace and happiness in their purest sense, so that we can stay true to our 'spiritual' selves, before our time to be awakened and return to our true HOME forever.